Goodbye.

I do not know how to continue. Every fiber of my being is unhappy. The only thing that's consistent is the thought that keeps rattling around in my brain - I need to kill myself.

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I feel like I've been fighting my whole life. But right now, I'm really tired. I'm so tired of being me. I feel like everytime I make progress, something hits me that pushes me thousands of steps backwards. I'm not as happy as I used to be. I don't find joy in anything I used to. I'm clinging onto people that I feel give me that same sense of joy, but they're really just draining me bit by bit.

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All I want to do now is say goodbye to the people who have impacted me.

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Claire LeBlanc

You were my greatest childhood friend. Anytime I struggled, you were there. One of my happiest moments was when we were walking through the hallways, you telling me about how Peyton was queer. My response? "Wild, I'm gay too!" And you just had to sit here the whole class period pondering that, lol. You've been family to me for so long. It's criminal that I haven't seen you in a while. I just want you to know that you're an amazing person and I love you more than anything.​

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Lauren Aleman
Thank you for being my sister, and thank you for helping me feel comfortable and normal all while growing up. I wish I could be there more and see your kids as they grow. All I ask is that you keep showing them love as they deserve and continue being an amazing mother. I'll miss you so much. I think about you a lot. You make me so happy and I'm so lucky for you to be my sister. I remember how much we'd watch the little mermaid together. I tried so hard to watch the new version of it with you. I just wish you loved me enough to do that with me. 

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Baylor Aleman
Hey Mr. Baylor. You're an amazing nephew. Every time I see you, I know you're going to be an amazing person. Everything your parents have done has built you up to be such a fantastic person with compassion, empathy, and kindness. I get so happy when I see you happy because you're the son of my sister, one of my favorite people on the planet. I hope you one day see how you're mom is such an amazing person, you're so lucky to have her, and how she's so lucky to have you. I wish I could be in your life forever, but I sadly cannot. I hope you understand to always be true to yourself, never compromise yourself, and always hold onto that happy wonder that you have. I lost that recently, and that's why I can't carry on.

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Sarae

SsSa

Tess

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Garrett Bradley

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Chris King

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Lynn

Kramer

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Mom

Steve Esteb

Peter Phillips

Carlos and Josh

I love you two so fucking much. I don't think I would be a scomfortable with myself if I had never met you two. You make me feel confident, strong, and like I can do anything. I wish I could feel that way everyday. I wish I could be by you two so much, just hanging out and enjoying each others' company. I love having you two in my life. We need to actually hang out as friends.
 

Brady Chiasson

I know we didn't romantically work out, but you're one of the best friends I've ever had. Every day, I love just talking to you, updating you on life, checking in on you, all of that. I'm insanely proud of you constantly. You're an amazing father and Scout will always love you so fucking much. I'm so lucky to know you. I just wish we could hang out more. You're a fantastic friend and I hope we can do more soon. Honestly, it sounds weird, but my dream is to be so close to you that I can be an Uncle Kyle to Scout. I just love you both so much.

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Kevin and Bear

You are my babies. I've done everything and I will always do everything for you. Every day is dedicated to you. I love cuddling you two every day. I wish you could understand how much this means to me.

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Clinton Calvaruso

I hate that I've fallen in love with you since December. It is one of the most painful things I've ever felt. You were just supposed to be a one-time thing. Yet when you walked in through my door, with your cute pink hat, your cute lil Baggu purse, you looking edgy, all that.

It had a huge effefct on me. I tried to keeo you at an arms distance. I tried to not fall for you. But I couldn't help it. Anytime I look into your eyes, you look back at me, and all I can think of is how much I love this man. When I sleep over, you hold me all night. When I sleep over, I'm so happy how much you hold me at night. I've never felt as good as I have when I'm in your arms. I love you so fucking much, Clinton.​

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Asha Dash

You are the love of my life. There's never been anyone else that I've felt so deeply connected to, so comfortable with, and so myself with. You've made me happy like no one ever. There's never been a day gone by when I don't think of you. Nothing that I want more than to talk to you when I go through life. I want to talk to you about the guys I date, the struggles I go through, the people that affect me. There's never been a single person on this planet that's understood me as much as you do, and I feel it's vice versa. I'd do anything to see you again. I don't care if you find a partner better for you than I was - you deserve it. I want to be your friend and support you throuhg it all. Because truly, nobody knows you like I do. I love you more than anything, Asha. I really hope to see you again. I'd do anything to see you if I could.